AND I TOLD YOU TO BE PATIENT, AND I TOLD YOU TO BE FINE. AND I TOLD YOU TO BE BALANCED, AND I TOLD YOU TO BE KIND.

One of the best parts about living in Brooklyn is being able to get out of it.



The leaves are starting to change. What better way to experience them in their full glory than to go upstate?



Ms. West took Paul, Ronnie Dobbs, Annie and me on the most epic hike.





There is something so raw and beautiful about a birch tree.



Secret pond.



Fall has fallen.







So Seventies.



It was pure bliss atop that mountain.



Especially for the dogs.



Magic?





Dressel farms. Home to apple orchard, pumpkin patch, corn maze and the best apple cider donuts you'll ever sink your teeth into.







Delicious.



Jada must have eaten a sour one.



Dream House.





Mountain Man.







This is Babe's "Sam the Eagle" face.



Pretty spot on if you ask me.



The dogs were none too happy about being left in the car while we devoured freshly picked apples.



Could these two get any cuter? I think not.



When all was said and done it was a perfect day. All of this only a mere hour and a half drive from Brooklyn and we even got to stop at Target which New Yorkers know is a total luxury.



*Disclaimer: All of these shots were taken by Paul Petitto's Panasonic Lumix digital camera with a Leica lens, mostly by Paul. Except for the ones taken while driving, I took those. And Jada took some as well.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHO'S YOUR DADDY? IS HE RICH LIKE ME?

In light of the Labor Day holiday, I've decided to recap what I was doing this time last year. I attended a lovely affair thrown by my old housemate who also happens to be one of my very best friends and Atlanta Press Club's journalist of the year 2006, the one and only Miss Mara Shalhoup.



Mara is finishing up a book on the Black Mafia Family but somehow manages to always be the hostess with the mostess. She is notorious for her holiday parties and this one was to take place in her beautiful backyard garden. But your grandma's garden party this was not.



Anyone who has the pleasure of knowing Mara knows she is the best cook around. Raised by an Italian mother and a Lebanese father who owned a restaurant, she got those chops early so to speak. Seeing as how we were in in the South and all, she had to have a low country boil, tea sandwiches, mint juleps, blueberry mojitos. You know, the works.



We all put on our Sunday best for the occasion. Seersucker was greatly encouraged.





The Jastatts and The Chapmans brought their adorable spawn.



Nico.



Olivia.



Eli.




Olivia made a special guest appearance on drums later that evening during Judi Chicago's jawdropping set. We all wondered what this crazy bloke in the karate outfit did with our shy friend Ben from across the pond. If you haven't heard the Judy Chicago approved Judi Chicago yet, get hip to them.







Our friends The Hiss also kicked out some jams.



In addition to a mighty fine Rock n Roll band, the fellow in the white suit here has a HA-larious blog



Only half of the PFTZ.



We Atlantans know how to throw one hell of a party, no?

THE LAST OF THE FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOYS

I recently acquired two things I had in Atlanta but never dreamed I'd have in New York. My car and my dog! Annie! To celebrate, Paul, Jada West, Chris Green and I took my boss up on her offer of her house in the Catskills for the weekend. This was the view from the backyard.




Since we got there in the middle of the night on Friday, we didn't have time to do anything except spook ourselves with horror stories about cars with their lights off following us on pitch black desolate roads. But the next day a hike was in order!







And after we were good and sweaty from the hike, we were ready to get wet! Jada did some research and found a secret swimming hole less than a mile away from the hiking trail, so secret even the park ranger didn't know about it. The trail was hidden and to find it we had to look for the numbers on the telephone pole, all Harry Potter style. 167 and 1/2! (mushroom not included)







But when we found it, Holy Cannoli! It was a beautiful spot, complete with waterfalls and an icy pool. Annie and I took the hard way down, meaning we fell down an embankment into the painfully cold water. Annie's a lousy swimmer so we climbed back up the waterfall and hiked around to the shallow water where Jada and Ronnie were waiting for us. I saw a baby snake on a rock!





Chris Green dared Paul to take his shorts off and put my beach hat over his family jewels ala a Playgirl centerfold circa 1972. Anyone who knows him can attest: My man has never been one to turn down a dare.



We had been alone for the past hour or so up until this point. Of course, right when Paul decides to drop trou, a woman comes around the bend and he has to hightail it into the woods to take cover and put his shorts back on.



Inside out, much to our amusement.



When we had our fill of drinking coronitas and freezing our fannies off, we headed into town to grab dinner in the way of sandwich stuffs from the Hanging Basket farmer's market.



And of course, the good ol' Bun N' Cone.






We had a picnic on Big Pond and watched some fat ladies in little bathing suits catch fish. I'll graciously spare you the visuals and instead supply you with one of Monsieur Green and this kayaker in front of this peaceful and serene backdrop.



Deer, my dear.



And the obligatory barn.



The next morning we went to the highly recommended Sweet Sue's for breakfast. We heard they had "crazy" pancakes, which they definitely did, but for some reason all of us were inclined to order off the lunch menu.



My delicious tempeh reuben.



Jada's pulled pork sandwich.



Chris, his Clark Gable moustache and his Thanksgiving dinner.



The crowd cheering on their rubber ducks in the race.



In all the excitement and getting in touch with Nature, we somehow missed the Brian Wilson (of the Beach Boys) concert right down the street!



*Thanks to Jada, Paul & Chris for the majority of the photos!

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

Have you ever seen such a beautiful jellyfish?



This is Nana. How cute is she all propped up on that porch swing?



The time had come for my family's bi-annual trip to St. Augustine. 'Twas a long overdue vacation for all of us if you ask me.



A vacation full of daily walks on the beach (sometimes twice a day!), fried shrimp and clam chowder at all of our favorite old haunts (and a few new ones) and fresh tomatoes, okra, squash and green beans purchased from the farmers' market down by the lighthouse. I was especially into these fine gentlemen playing bluegrass tunes.



Speaking of the lighthouse.



The one in St. Augustine is grandiose!



And speaking of haunts, the lighthouse has more than its fair share of them according to popular folklore. My sister Sherlan and I decided to take The Dark of the Moon tour see for ourselves what all the fuss was about.



How Sherlan managed to look composed in this photo after climbing 219 steps in a supposedly haunted lighthouse in the dark is beyond me. I was obviously a little frazzled. Being the ghost-hunting dorks that we are, we had EMF meters and they were going off like crazy in certain parts of the tower. Besides that and catching a few orbs on camera, we didn't see or hear anything suspicious, but one lady on our tour apparently had her hair pulled by a spook in the basement of the keeper's house! Yikes.





And speaking of Yikes!



My mom, Nana and I visited the Alligator Farm and Zoological Park. Yes, that thing is REAL. Seeing these creatures up close and personal made me think about how it must've been back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.



An albino alligator. Not to be confused with the bad Matt Dillon movie (what do you mean which bad Matt Dillon movie?) of the same name. Dear hotter Dillon bro, although I will never forgive you for Wild Things, I will love you eternally in The Outsiders and Over the Edge.





Anyways, I digress. Now back to the real wild things.



These guys were conveniently located in the rookery part of the park, where many different species of wild birds migrate to mate, build their nests and hatch their babies. Apparently the alligators provide protection to the birds from other predators like raccoons, possums and snakes, but obviously the gators receive a bite-size snack on occasion when the babies fall or get pushed out of their nests. Sad!











The birds were actually my favorite part. It was amazing to be able to get that close to those babies without the fear of being attacked by their mothers. There were some more commonly seen species of our fine feathered friends too, like this parrot.



And then there were some not so common ones, such as this dashing fellow.



Who apparently loves prunes!

HANG ON TO YOUR EGO

Uh-oh.



We visited Libby and Tyler on Saturday and one thing led to another, and well...

EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES

Paul turned the apartment into a tropical desert greenhouse!



Jealous of our Wizard/Pizza/Unicorn painting? Well rightly so, it's a Mike Neeson original.



I always forget having plants is like having pets or kids. You have to find someone to take care of them when you go out of town.



Our upstairs neighbor is really gonna have his hands full now.



Pincushion plants look like baby orange trees.



Fresh lemon thyme, basil and parsley, oh my!



It should also be noted that Paul just finished the whole Keith Moon biography. All whopping 580 pages of it. I'm proud of you buddy.

IT'S JUST THAT DEMON LIFE HAS GOT ME IN ITS SWAY

Parsnips, my new favorite vegetable.



After work I met Paul and we walked to the Garden (one of my favorite NY haunts) to get groceries for a fancy dinner we were going to cook using my newest cookbook, Vegetarian Food for Friends, which is authored by London's top vegetarian chef Jane Noraika. On the menu: butternut squash and goats' cheese gratin with warm parsnip and ginger puree.



The empty spot on the plate is where the watercress was supposed to go, but we made a spinach salad with tomatoes and onions instead. I always get super excited about butternut squash but always forget how long it takes to prepare and cook. I don't think I've had parsnips before, I'm pretty sure if I had I would have remembered. They are like a dessert in and of themselves. Speaking of dessert:



Oh. My. God. Reed's has gone and concocted GREEN TEA GINGER ICE CREAM. 19 grams of fat per serving. Please Kill Me.